"I'm Just an At Home Mom!?"

"You have so much education, how can you waste it staying home with children?"  "You could be making tons of money, go to work and put those kids in daycare?" "I don't see how you can do it, being home with my kids all day would drive me crazy!"  If you have ever heard any of these statements, you are an At Home Mom just like I am.  For decades working moms have gotten a bum rap and at home moms have gotten bum raps also.  I am not here to down neither.  I want to encourage at home moms because I being one myself, know the day to day struggles, joys, challenges and responsibilities that come with this position. 

Let me begin by stating that I have always wanted to stay home with my children until they reached elementary school age.  I have AMAZING memories of my toddler and childhood because my mother too was an at home mom.  I felt a constant sense of protection, safety, support and confidence. (Please hear me and do not think I am saying that only kids with at home moms have fond memories and a sense of comfort, and confidence because I am not. I am simply sharing my story.) 

If you are an at home mom, I want you to know that it is okay to enjoy this season you are in.  At first I HATED being home with our first child because I felt like I was being useless.  For decades I pursued higher education and then I wake up and my life was full of pampers, breast feeding and housework.  My mind kept telling me I was not contributing to society or to my home.  It took four years for me to realize that not only do I enjoy being home with my children, but it is OK for me to enjoy it.  I am not wasting my time or my life.  I am using every last bit of education I have acquired everyday I teach and instruct my children.  My outlook has changed, thus making me an even better at home mom, wife and person.

Is the job exhausting?  YES.  Is it thankless at times because a baby can not verbally say, "thanks for changing my poop!"  Of course it is thankless and even lonely at times.  The reality is with every blessing comes an obstacle!  My daily truth is many times, by the end of the day, I do not have the energy to talk, walk or think, but when I walk into their rooms at night to make sure they are under the covers, I still can not believe that God has given me this life.  This season of being home with Aunna and Lillian will not be forever.  Like winter changes to summer, so too will my girls grow up and be able to wipe, feed, clean, wash, organize, prepare, and live life more independently.  So until that day comes, and it is coming VERY soon, I will Carpe Diem, seize the day!

So the next time you hear someone say, "how can you give up your dreams and stay home with your kids," tell them what I tell them, I never gave up my dream, I am living it!

 Dear God, please bless all moms with wisdom, patience, and understanding.  In Jesus Name, Amen.




























Has it been easy being an at home mom?  HECK NO!    Unless you are wealthy, you will learn very quickly to live off of less.  5 years ago when we found out I was pregnant, we were also shopping around for a home. Living in Maryland, as many of you know is expensive.  Knowing my desire to be at home with the baby, I had to humble myself and also be realistic in what we could afford.  So, we decided to purchase a mobile home and live there for 3three years to safe up.  That was a hard pill for me to swallow because I was not ready to place my "bugie" body in a mobile home.  But I am glad we did this.  Today, we no longer live in a mobile home and live in a gorgeous place in North Carolina.

I am thankful that my husband is able to carry the financial weight of living off of one income. 

I use to feel guilty for taking great pride in taking care of the kids and home.  I felt like what would others think if they knew that Master degree holding, professional Angela really liked mopping the kitchen floor in

The impact it had on me was profound and I wanted the same for my children. When dating, I would present that question to the guy to see where his head was in reference to his wife being an at home mom for a time.  Thankfully my husband had no issue with it at all.  Acutally, in his own words he said, "I would prefer it because it would also give me a sense of peace knowing that my children are ok!"

The Abused Bride of Christ

As a Christian God refers to us as His Bride.  If you think about a bride, you see an image of a beautiful female beaming with glee and excitement as she glides down the runner in a gorgeous white gown, long train and a smile that ignites fire in her grooms heart and soul.  But what do you see when you look in the mirror at yourself if you are a Christian, Gods bride?

Many Christians have been mistreated, used, talked about, run down, lied on and mentally and emotionally abused by others in the body of Christ.  These kinds of hurts go deep down to the very depths of ones soul and can cause people to run away from the church or even turn their hearts away from God.  One thing to remember is that Christians are not perfect!  From the pulpit to the pews, all of us are imperfect and have our own issues, strongholds, and generational "stuff" to deal with.  It is devastating to be misunderstood, misquoted or misjudged by someone in leadership in a church, but the real question is, what are you going to do now that you have been abused and mistreated?

If you have ever felt like you are or were in a spiritually manipulated, emotionally and mentally abusive church situation, do not let it push you away from God!  Do not allow bitterness, hatred, strife, gossip or strife to overtake you. There are some steps you can take to get through it:

1. Tell God about it and be honest about how you feel.  
2. If God leads you to talk to the person bringing on the offense and abuse, do so.   You may want to bring a third party in who will act as a mediator and is unbias.
3. Depending on how the conversation went, if you felt like you got a resolve, and desire to stay in the church, do so without gossip or back biting or bitterness.  If you did not get a reasonable resolve and after much thought and prayer feel it is time to move on, then do so with grace not slandering those who abused you.  

At the end of the day, we must use EVERY situation as a learning tool and opportunity to grow from. As a mom, the healthier we are mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially, the better a parent we can be.

If you would like to hear this teaching in it's entirety, you can order the CD titled, "The Abused Bride of Christ".  Contact me at abjconsultingllc@gmail.com

Take a GOOD look at Your Kids, You Might Be Surprised at What You See!

 
Very early yesterday morning, I found myself at the Pediatric hospital in North Carolina consoling my 4 year old.  She woke with a very high fever, a chronic cough and tons of tears rolling down her red, flushed face.  I had been trying to doctor her cold myself for two days, but when I rubbed my hand across her forehead and it felt as if steam was permeating from her pores, I knew I had to swing into high gear.  While at the hospital, I got to see Aunna in a different light.  Even though she was sick, she was still very polite, pleasant and of course, talkative to all the nurses, doctor and workers.  Matter of fact, she asked more questions than I did.  When we were in the examining room, she lay on the bed and engaged the nurses with an abundance of intelligent and inquisitive questions.  I sat in the chair next to her and said to myself, "WOW, Aunna is a COOL kid!" 

So many times we parents are sooooooo busy, cooking, cleaning, working, transporting, disciplining, and training our children, especially when they are young, till we do not take the time to see just how cool and amazing our children are.  I always knew that Aunna was intelligent, bright, articulate and precocious for her age, but having to sit at the hospital gave me the time to really SEE her!  If Aunna is this amazing now, I can not wait to see how she will be at age 7, age 14, age 18 and adulthood.  For the first time I realized that she is not just my daughter, she is a full fledged  human being, an individual person!

So moms, take some time from all the daily task and see just how cool your children are.