Are You the Same Woman You Use to Be?

Earlier today I was watching one of my favorite, "feel good women" television shows, Say Yes to the Dress! The pretty, fabulous gowns, but more than that, I love to see how putting on the right style wedding dress can totally transform a woman's self esteem and complement her curves and positive assets. The part that really grabbed my attention is when the sales consultant ask the bride to tell how she met her fiance.  While she is telling her story, photos of the happy couple are shown.  On today's episode, the couple looked so happy and hopeful, and then my mind traveled back to my life before children.  The carefree life that allowed me to come and go as I pleased and not have to spend every waking moment making sure others needs were met over mine.

The brides to be and their fiances had a spark in their eyes in those photos. Then I began to think, do I still have that spark?  To be quite honest, I must say no.  I think, matter of fact, I know that I have allowed mommy hood to sap my adventurous, spontaneous, fun loving side.  I have become much more serious, stringent, and in my opinion..........BORING!

So what do I do?   I take one day at a time and embrace my new life.  My identity is not "Angela the mom."  I am still Angela, the woman, I just happen to have two children who are here to enhance my life, and I theirs. I may not have the freedom  that I use to have, but that is OK.  I just have to think of more creative ways to embrace my fun, spontaneous side.  My outside obligations may have changed, but my heart and soul have actually grown due to this amazing and equally scary experience as a mommy.

The take away, its okay to look back, but it is better to relish in the present and prepare for a better future!

Love you all,
Angela

"Take A Walk Down Memory Lane!"

 The other day a dear friend and I were briefly reminiscing on our undergraduate days.  She and I have known one another since the age of 18 and now I am 42 years old!  I love that our friendship has stood the test of time.  After we got off the phone, I allowed my mind to take a trip down memory lane all the way to when I was a little girl.  As I did that, I found a pattern that I am very proud of.  I realized that I have accomplished a lot that I should be extremely proud of and also that I am a leader!  

As mothers, we find ourselves so busy motivating and encourage others, till we sometimes forget to pat our own backs.  I am proud of how I held leadership positions in high school.   I am proud of the various Orchestras and Symphonic bands I played the flute and tuba in.  I am proud of being the President of the Association of Black Collegians when I was a junior at Penn State University. I am proud of the times I chose to leave relationships that were unhealthy and choose a better path.  I am proud that on May 30^th 2006, at my heaviest weight of 318 lbs., I took control of my weight once and for all and had gastric bypass surgery.  I am proud of swallowing my fears and moving to various cities in pursuit of purpose.  I am proud of how I took a chance at love and wound up with a precious husband and gorgeous daughters.  And I am proud of the woman, wife and mother I am today. 

Age 42 is a far cry from 18, and although those high school and college days were amazing, I know that my latter years will be greater than my former!  Moms, take a walk down memory lane and give yourself permission to be proud!  Stick your chest out and share that sense of pride with your children.  Stop dwelling on the mistakes of the past and relish on your accomplishments and future.

Love you!

Mommy CEO!

As I sit here at the dining room table at 8:30 in the morning trying to multi-task working on the laptop, calling and setting up doctor appointments, calling bill places to pay bills and/or set up payment arrangements, as well as stopping to change diapers, do laundry, vacuum, mop, dust, wash dishes, bathe children, instruct home school lessons, transport kids to ballet, library and other activities, feed hungry kids, and discipline their frequent acts of rebellion, I realized something……. I am running a corporation here!

When I was in the workforce, I help various leadership roles.  I lead, oversaw, disciplined, instructed, encouraged, and assisted the staff under me.  I had to form and set up relationships, collaborations, and deals with outside contributors, investors and vendors.  I was the face of the organizations department that I oversaw and was responsible for their professional well being and maturation.  I had to assist in goal setting, budgeting, facilitating, implementing, creating, and orchestrating the financial, social, and political foundation and structure of the company or organization. When something went wrong, it was me who my superiors looked at and held accountable.  Besides being there for my staff, I had to also try to carve out some time to replenish my spirit, soul and body.

Sounds a lot like being a mommy, particularly for me, an at home mom.  So for all you moms who may be at home with the children, please do not see your job as simply a mom, you are the Founder, CEO and President of your own Company!    Running a home takes patience, intelligence, planning, time management, wit, strategy and creativity, just like running a business.

If you work outside the home, your task may be different from an at home moms, but you too work very hard to make sure your corporation is achieving its goals.   At the end of the day, our mommy objectives are to see our corporation (family) grow in every area of their lives.   

Gotta go now, I have two DISCRUNTLED workers.  One child is yelling at the top or her lungs and the other is throwing her morning snacks on the floor and smashing them into my hardwood floors.   

God help us all!