Sometimes Life Really Bites!!

Yes, I said it!  Sometimes life seems to really kick our tails at times.  Disappointment's, circumstances and situations can take the wind from your sails.  As a Christian, I know that it may not sit well with some to hear me say that life can suck at times because we are to not let the cares and trials of life consume us, but I am human.  LIFE is hard at times, and you know what, it is suppose to be!  God never promised us a utopia where we would not be faced with challenges.

I find it really troubling when I hear some preachers say that if you are having a hard time in life, that you are not walking in Gods purpose.  I remember years ago my car had broken down and a fellow Christian said, "well you must be out of the will of God for this to happen to you."  How CRAZY does that sound?  Yes, there are consequences to our sins, but sometimes life just happens.   Psalms 34:19 says, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all. (NASB).  This simply means that we are expect some troubles and trial, but God will help us through them.

Now we must also realize that we do have an enemy out there, the devil who will also throw his fiery darts our way to kill, steal and destroy our lives and destiny.  It is our job to discern what the source is behind our suffering and use Gods word to battle it.

So, do not be surprised when you face trial because the trying of your faith creates patience.  Without a trial, you would never have a testimony.  Be blessed and push forward to victory.  

Angela

Are Your Prejudices Keeping You Single?

 As a 42 and a half, (I cannot believe that) year old married wife of three, I find myself taking a long look back over my life.  During my single years some of my dating choices were good and others were a hot mess!  But the one thing I am proud of is I did not let the guys color stop me from getting to know him.  I have come across a large number of single women over the age of 35 who sincerely want to be in a committed relationship leading up to marriage.  When I ask a lot of them if they would date a man that is not the same color as them, a large majority say, “Girl, I am true to my race!”  

What does that mean?  We are all a part of the human race.  I think having preferences are good.  For example, I prefer an SUV over a compact size car; however, if I am given a compact size car, I would at least drive it to see how it handles before rejecting it.  The same should be true for dating.  Today, the number of available black men who are not incarcerated, gay or married is lower than years ago.  That being the case, I really want to challenge my fellow black sisters who are single to simply give interracial dating a chance.  You may be surprised!

And then for my Caucasian sisters, if you find yourself afraid to date someone due to stereotypes and what others will think, throw that stuff out the door.  You deserve to be happy!  At the end of the day, the man’s heart, character, personality, temperament and goals define him, not his color.  Again, there is nothing wrong with having preferences, as long as those preferences are not built upon prejudice.

So single ladies, do not give up on finding love.  Keep your cute on, keep a smile on your face and be open.  You never know, your knight in shining armor may just be wearing a different color coat of armor, but who cares, as long as he treats you like a queen!

Angela

“Black Women Care More About Their Hair Than Their Bodies!” WHAT? HUH!!!!!

One day I overheard two black men discussing why they could not find many black females to date on their college campus.  They went on to say that most of the black women on campus were overweight and cared more about their hair being “tight” than their bodies.  “The white females work out all the time, but I don’t know why the sisters don’t?  They are the ones that need to!”  Then the other guy chimed in and said, “Yeh, man, that’s why I date white women!”

My focus of this blog is not to bash interracial dating.  I am totally FOR dating whomever you want and who you are attracted to.  God created us all equal and that goes for love also.  Prior to marrying my husband, I had the pleasure of dating various men of all cultures and nationalities.  Diversity is a beautiful thing and it should be celebrated!  

I want to focus on the idea that many men as well as other races may think black women place hair as a priority over health.  At first I found myself angry at what those two guys were saying, and then I had to think about it.  Was what they felt true?  Did I place my hair over my health?  Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE fabulous hair, whether it’s natural, weaved, locked, straight, kinky, long or short.  Fabulous hair is fabulous hair! And I do realize that to maintain African American hair requires different maintenance than other hair types.  We want a certain degree of oils to stay in our hair, where others may not.  Most black females do not shampoo their hair on a daily basis, thus preventing some black women from participating in physical activities that will require them to sweat profusely.  Again, I am not saying ALL black women, so please no hate mail.

My point is, for me, I have always liked to exercise and move and sweat.  My love for fabulous hair was never a deterrent.  The years I did not exercise on a regular basis had nothing to do with my hair, but more with me feeling overwhelmed at the amount of weight I had to lose and basically quitting when I did not see fast results.  If you are a black female who wants to get in shape, but does not exercise, only you can answer why you have not done so.  I too have heard some black women say out their own mouths, “Girl, I am not sweating my hair out!”  But that comment does not make me think sistas don’t care about health.  

When I was 318 lbs, I took immense pride in my hair and nails.  I did so not only because I knew my appearance was important, but on a deeper and subconscious level,  my hair and nails were two areas I felt I had control over.  See, my eating and weight were areas I had no control over, but I knew how to weave me some fab hair!  Now that I am no longer obese, I find myself feeling most free, beautiful and sexy when I rock my natural short hair.  DO NOT get me wrong, I will always love hair weave, but now I do not base my beauty on it.  When I was heavier, I felt I was not pretty without hair extensions and that I could somehow hide my size 26 body underneath two packs of Yaki #4.

So ladies, whether you are black or white, only you can determine if you place hair above health.  And men, if you think this, try not to jump to the conclusion that black women don’t care, because many times, it could be a case of just needing the confidence and courage to walk out this health and fitness journey.

Be Blessed,

Angela

What Gets You Off Your Game?

Do you realize that you have an enemy that knows the areas he can poke and prod you in that will cause you to get off focus and waste time?  For some it is financial lack, or health issues.  For others it may be loneliness, fear, procrastination, people pleasing, pride, lying, lust, greed, jealousy, negativity and hatred.  Whatever your areas, you have to know when and how the enemy (the devil) attacks.

I LOVE sports, especially football.  Maybe it comes from the fact that my dad was a high school and then a college football coach most of my childhood and teen years.  I love how athletes work hard to achieve a goal and every week they get an opportunity to apply what they have learned.  One big part of being a football player is watching hours of football film and learning not only about your own strengths and weaknesses on the field, but that of your opponents also.  If an athlete does not know how their opponent functions, a win may be few to none.  The better prepared you are for a game or battle, the greater your chances of winning. 

The same is true for you and I in this “game” called life!  I encourage you to take the time to look over your life and try to pinpoint areas where it seems like you are walking around in a circle.  Every lesson unlearned is a lesson repeated!  Is there an area in your life where you feel you are in a prison?  Like you can’t break free?  For me, ever since I was a young child, I have felt like I am in a bubble trying to break free.  The bubble for me is lack.  It seems like no matter how hard I work and save and do, I cannot break free financially.  Now that I know this is one of the areas the enemy tries to attack me, my responsibility is to apply Gods word to the situation and not doubt that a change has and will come.

So the take away is simply, take the time to watch the footage of your opponent, the devil, and see how he operates in your life.  Then use Gods word, mixed with faith and action to change the outcome and score.

Be Blessed,

Angela

"After Shocks" and the Need for Redemption

Merrian-Webster Dictionary defines Redemption as: the act of making something better or more acceptable; the act of exchanging something for money, an award, etc. I feel as though my life has been a process of continuous redemption.  I am always trying to reclaim or regain something.  To be quite honest, some of the areas I have gotten or am pursuing redemption in, I know how I "fell from grace" sort of speak, but other areas I feel as if I inherited from generational situations. 

Mental, Emotional, Physical, Financial, Sexual and Spiritual areas of redemption have been reoccurring themes in my life, so it seems.  The truth of the matter is, I know that we are all human and ALL are in need of some degree of redemption in and of ourselves, and definitely from God.

My Physical road to redemption encompasses my battle with obesity from childhood to adulthood.  My Mental and Psychological road to redemption encompasses my battle with negative mindsets, low self-esteem, self-hatred, depression, perfectionism and inner fault finding and fear.  My Emotional road to redemption encompasses my reactions (mostly negative) to life pertaining to all the mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, and relational, traumas I have experienced.  My need for pre-marital Sexual redemption was birthed from a road paved with sexual promiscuity resulting from a need to be loved, wanted, needed, desired as well as pure carnal passion.  And lastly, I feel as if I was born into a generational bond or curse of poverty and financial lack.  My Financial road to redemption keeps me determined daily to break and totally annihilate this curse of lack so that it will not pass down to my children.

The truth of the matter is there are some areas, only God can redeem me from like salvation and sin.  The biblical definition of Redemption is: the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil. "God's plans for the redemption of his world."  Christianity  (of Christ as Saviour) to free (mankind) from sin by his death on the Cross. (Dictionary.reference.com 2014)   Spiritually speaking, I am saved, forgiven and if I died today, on my way to heaven because I believe and accept the redemption Jesus provided when He died on the cross for my sins.

However, we live in a fallen world and there are consequences and "after shocks" if you will, resulting from our mental, physical, emotional, sexual, financial and relational actions and  issues.  What areas are you in need of redemption or are walking out the redeeming process?  This 2014, I know that all that I have been through was so I can help others get through it also.  And not just get through it, but soar afterwards.  There is life after divorce, low-self esteem, poverty, whoring, depression, obesity, guilt and shame.  

Lets walk out this area of redemption together, one giant leap at a time!  Love you, be Blessed! 

REDEMPTION

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word Redemption as:  the act of making something better or more acceptable!   Powerful!!

My only question to you is what areas in your life need to be made better or more acceptable this 2014?

Think about it and come back to this blog site tomorrow and hear some Confessions of a Redeemed Woman!

Love you,

Angela

Take It One Pound and Inch at A Time!

Yesterday when I was driving to the gym, I thought to myself, "this place is going to be crowed with New Year Resolutionaries!" But to my surprise, the gym looked more like a desolate island.  Now maybe by the time I got there, most of the folks had come and gone, but I began to reflect back to my life prior to loosing over 130 lbs. Starting out gangsta strong on Monday and by Wednesday, feeling like a true loser and failure due to my inability to overcome my constant thinking about food and lack of initiative to exercise.  Not to mention going to the gym for a day or two and thinking, "how in the hell am I going to lose all this weight? Impossible!"  By the end of the week, not only had I talked myself out of sticking with my plan, but I ate more and probably gained a pound or two.

Every year millions of people vow "this will be the year I lose weight!"  Loosing weight can be extremely overwhelming, especially if you have a substantial amount to lose. It is very easy to only see the extra fat on our bodies and talk ourselves out of trying even before we start.  My advice, take it one pound at a time!  Every inch and single pound lost is a major victory!

At 318 lbs I use to look in the mirror and think, "I will never conquer this!"  It seemed like an impossible feat.  The key to winning over your weight is how you think about it.  Don't see every pound needed to lose as a burden, but rather an opportunity to win.  Each pound lost is a major win.  When you change your mindset, your actions will follow.  Please do not give up!  Instead of setting your goal to lose 50 lbs in one month, be realistic and aim for a 2-5 pound weight loss per month.  Take it one pound at a time.  Trust me, it will work.

Much love,
Angela